Friday, May 30, 2014

Being Asperger / Some Reactions

Feeling time after time that you need to say "I'm sorry", and not knowing what it is you did. 
Being abandoned by a person whom you thought was a friend, when he or she realizes that you are really different, and not pretending.

Being treated like an object, and wanting to yell, "I'm human."

Being referred to as 'quirky' 'eccentric' 'our favorite weirdo' or 'strange, but harmless' when being introduced to someone new, as if the person speaking anticipates that you will do something wrong, and apologizes beforehand.

Being told that you don't care about people, nor do you want friends: that you are incapable of love and affection - by people who claim to care about people, but either they don't, or they don't consider you to be a person. 

Being told that because you are intelligent, well-spoken and an attractive female that you can't possibly be suffering. Your life is perfect.

The instinctive hurt of social lies, especially the big ones, about justice, equality, and fair play; the pervasive disrespect for people of 'lesser' value, by so-called 'normal' people. 
F. Nietzsche, a smart guy!
People criticize your desire and need to spend time alone, but at the same time they want you to go away. In fact, they want anyone who isn't like them to vanish from the universe.

People who think that they own the universe, and go on trashing a planet to which all people belong, but is owned by no one. 

Living in a social world in which 90% of what humans need and value is missing. 

The constant awareness of an invisible cage of words and looks and expectations that social people accept without being aware that it limits or controls them, but which for an Asperger individual is like being locked in a nightmare. 

Knowing that a touch of Asperger's would result in a happier and healthier human population, better distribution of resources, effective problem-solving and greater equality in society, but that nothing we can do or say convince social people that we have a contribution to make.