We developed a deep friendship precisely because he
felt it necessary to explain that his requests and concerns had a rational
basis such as safety or efficiency, or to quell worry on his part that I would
make a mistake or a poor choice. His appeals to my practical good sense usually worked,
but I never felt that I had to obey him just because he was my father. This
encouraged me to make my own choices, good and bad, and to recover from my mistakes, a task that
is infinitely difficult for a perfection-loving Asperger child. Honest exchange
sometimes drove us apart, but I never doubted his affection or that he would be
there when I needed help. He could and would set personal judgment aside. He
wasn’t warm, emotional or full of praise. At times, overcome by frustration and
anger at a social world he didn’t understand, he would vanish into the comforting
order of nature and science. His knowledge base was phenomenal and he was never
too busy to answer my limitless questions, sometimes imparting far more detail
than I could possibly absorb. Best of all, he was like me and I was like him, but
not exactly.
Each Aspergerger individual has his or her own personality
and is affected differently by social constraints. Girls and women have traditionally been excluded from diagnosis and instead have been diagnosed with one or more mental illnesses,
a situation that is improving. Females being overlooked as Aspergers can be partly explained by the traditional view that being female is in itself a disorder or defect
in many religions and cultures, a social barrier that has been imposed as part of
The Pyramid. Women are on the bottom by virtue of their 'crazy' gender.
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